​            It was snowing like it had never snowed before. Blanched all over as if nature had bleached all land temporarily. He sat by the window occasionally observing the flakes of snow falling on the bleached mattress—earth. His primary focus was to complete the melody he had been trying to perfect for many days.

          His beard had grown past his collar bone. When he is engaged with artistic prospects he is detached. Apperance has no meaning for him. He is somewhat a vairagi (ascetic). Sticks to himself. He likes snow. He has been in a relationship for many cycles with this one force. Every time though he is unable to become one with her. There were many causes at play, including himself. He would meet her at garba every year and in every life, she would confess her love but at that very moment he would be refuse and not reciprocate.  The manifestation of love somehow does not occur. He hasn’t been getting it for many lifetimes and in every lifetime after her confession and his inability he spends the  rest of his life trying to figure out what went wrong. He could have just said he loved her.

            Sitting by the window he continues to complete the tune. But for some reason there is always the missing link that affects the flow of perfect musical harmony. Perhaps the cause is the sound of her anklets constantly jolting his being like a gong. The beat of his heart the jingling sound of her anklets.

“Something must be done. I have gone through millions of lifetimes, born, suffered, died, reborn yet still unable to solve this issue of love. It must be fixed. I must do what is necessary. I will shake up the cosmos until I have my answer.”

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Well this is a paradox for; the cause of suffering is not exogenous to begin with. Why shake up the cosmos when internal domains are at play?

***

            Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep- SLAM! He rises to unearthly domains, almost as if he is floating in space. But the space is not space, nor ground.  He looks at his arm and realizes it has become transparent. He continues to ascend. Along the way he is able to see his past lives. The accrued instances of her confessing her love to him and him unable to speak. This makes him cringe. This feeling can be considered eternal discomfort. The feeling you get when you want something so badly; you get it, but you’re the only obstacle preventing yourself from getting it. 

            His ascension comes to a halt. He is surrounded by endless waterfalls, with water so ethereal. It is not pooling. It’s about perspective. He continues to focus on this one waterfall, soon enough he realizes it is a path. A path that has no beginning. Yet he begins to walk. Along the way he hears his favourite songs and poems being uttered. It sounds as  if they are being chanted with vedic intonation as if his favorite poems are verses from the upanishads. He then catches onto the subtle sound of anklets which he uses as a guide to reach his destination. “To where? No idea.”

            He continues to walk. He sees her.  She is there standing before Adi-Shakti who happens to be golden in complexion wearing a saree made from some unknown fabric of nature. Beside her is the girl, she too possesses a tinge of golden. 

***

            She is wearing a red chainya chori with orange bandhani print on the skirt. The odhani is black with red and golden abhlas. The most striking feature are her weighted anklets. Every step of hers is mystical. Though she is not walking towards him for she takes one step towards Adi-Shakti. They are having a conversation.

            He makes his way toward her. Though he is only a few feet away from her and Adi-Shakti, it almost feels as though he is the shore and his goal a rising sun floating on the never ending expanse of the ocean. He looks down at his feet questioning his ability to complete the eternal walk. While doing so, realizes that the ground has become an inferno and his goal ever so distant.

            His astral body is able to hover above the infernal ocean. He continues to glide. Aeons pass. The sound of the anklets however is still consistent, like the creative sound responsible for the creation of the cosmos during Adi Kaal (beginning of time). He decides it is very difficult to cross the ocean and so he decides to dance. He dances like never before. Soon enough his dance becomes a cosmic one drawing, the abode of Adi-Shakti closer to him for his dance causes the sea to whirl around in a vertigo. Samudra Manthan.

            He realizes that the abode is actually a temple. It is well decorated. By the feet of Adi-Shakti she is lighting an Akhand Deep ( There are people here too dressed in similar fashion. Men and women, with sticks in their hands. He deduces it is the time of Navratri.  There is an orchestra in one corner to accompany the dancers. He can make out a song he has heard before...” ashadh ucharam...megh malharam...girdharam” and it changes to “mor bani thangat kare...”. 

            While listening to mor bani thangat kare he observes her and that she has begun to dance around Adi-Shakti. The domain transforms from a temple to a forest with the clouds putting on a Shyam rang (the colour of Lord Shri Krishna) and there she is surrounded by hundreds of peacocks.

            A few feet away from where she is dancing he sees a Harmonium. It too posseses a  golden aura. He sits down in front of it. As he pulls the bellow and presses the note Pa. The sky begins to crackle sounding like the twang of Gandiv. There are no drums and so he uses the consistent sound of thunder to his advantage. The smell of wet soil mixed with the smell of all transcendental flowers perfume the domain. .

            The sound of the harmonium is ever so melodious and the resonance causes new species of flowers to bloom. The rustling of trees becomes the jingling sound of anklets. Matter is not a systematic organization of atoms but rather the jingling sound of her anklets. This is what he thinks. He is playing the harmonium but his mind is in a state of ethereal ecstasy. His spirit is elated. He feels the purpose of his life fulfilled. The scene is the one of sat chit anand (eternal bliss). Everything he sought is with him-her.

           

            In an instant everything shatters. He is at the temple for the millionth time in a millionth lifetime. She is there, trying to get his attention. Stomping her feet to send the resonance to his ears, to get his attention. He finally goes to her. The moment has come. It is time for the penance to be completed. The boon...

 

            She is the boon. Her very existence is the boon. The causes responsible for her existence had the touch of an entity beyond human reach. She was the personification of power.

            He the eternal vairagi is about to shed his skin and enter the world. Finally, the time has come and it seems that the cosmos were all in favor of the time. The Stars align themselves for this very moment. All this abysmal suffering.The unending tale of two lovers travelling through time and space end only to commence and continue in unity on an infinite spectrum. He makes his way towards her. His strides slow. He is about to turn around and walk back. “NO, he says, not now. No more. The vision of the forest was something new. I cannot live with eternal discomfort” .  He approaches her. She is seated on the floor of the temple before Ma Adi-Shakti. She utters the cosmic words “you are likeable” and he, unlike the past does speak his mind instead of saying thank you or rambling on a random conversation about a story he had written in class about some girl wearing anklets.

            He says... "Every step of yours is the sound of cosmic bells which upon being struck turn a moment into an instance of timeless ecstasy. Long have I waited please forgive me and yield me mercy.  You only find me likeable but my love for you is my essence, without which I would cease to exist. Your very existence is mine. I have died a million deaths and because of me you too have suffered . Forgive me once and for all...”

                                                                                                                            ***

            Ni, Sa! At last the tune has been set. He jumps with joy. Runs to his front yard not realizing how cold it is. Looks to the sky and he sees something, golden.  It is a woman, dancing surrounded by peacocks in a forest and a man playing the harmonium. .  The woman continues to dance. Soon enough, the man stands up and begins to dance with her.  They have two sticks in each of their hands.

 

            Their dance slowly makes its way in to the cosmos. It is night now. He is still outside, bare feet. He is immersed into the dance. He has danced like this before.  Slowly the dance begins to gain speed. Her stomp causes the anklets to break apart, separating each and every bell which transforms into rose petals and there she is walking from the front door of the house with her every step sending jingling shockwaves to his heart. She too is awestruck with what she is seeing as she looks into the sky. She walks over to him and holds his hand. Looks at him in the eyes and clenches him ever so tightly, crying. He too starts to cry. The rose petals slowly rain on them.

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***

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This is a sequel to Id Neutralized.  For information on what inspired "Suffering Neutralized" please read blurb at the end of "Id Neutralized".